Facebook or Facefuck?

I set up my Facebook account when I moved to Ireland from the US about a year and a half ago. My main purpose for setting up was to keep in touch with family and friends abroad. At this time Facebook was really only starting to catch on and no one really knew that it would grow into the phenomenon that has. It soon became easier than ever to find people online as most people ‘on the scene’ are mutually connected through the same groups of friends and people. But is there more negatives than positive that come with this new form of involuntary gay socialisation? The trend of the ‘random add’ has become a more than frequent occurrence. Every time I started logging onto my page I would have numerous friend requests from people I didn’t know. At first, I assumed this was a major form of flattery but then once I realised people were regularly engaging in this form of unprotected interaction my flattery turned to disgust. Initiatlly, I acccepted because I’m a firm believer in the moto ‘things happen for a reason’ and I was naive enough to think that a relationship could blossom from a ‘random add’, a term coined by the Facebook/ Bebo tramps of the world. I have had some interesting experiences, and that’s putting it mildly, with meeting people on Facebook and it has had some major implications in my life. For arguments sake lets just call the first guy ‘Mr. Waste of Time’ and the second one ‘Mr. Busy’. Mr. Waste of Time and I originally met and went on a couple of dates and then he decided to tell me that he wasn’t ready for a boyfriend. Like a fool I maintained a friendship with him in the frivilous hope that one day it may turn into more. This friendship has recently been terminated, indefinitely! Mr. Busy and I called it quits after agreeing that timing was playing strongly against us. Originally I assumed this was total bullshit and he just wasn’t that into me. I was initially disappointed but now we’re actually friends. So my experience of dating people from Facebook hasn’t been entirely positive or encouraging to those who like me once believed you could find love on a computer. In fact it seems like the only reason why people add strangers online is for a number of reasons. 1. They think they’re attractive. 2. They’re just looking for a quick shag. 3.They’re bored and have nothing better to do. And 4. Yea, they’re probably just looking for a shag! The truth hurts! Once you meet someone online you don’t really have a personal connection with them you have a cyber connection and as experience has thought me, chances are if they added you online and are talking to you, well then they’re quite handy with their technology and as such are probably talking and chatting up other strangers online too. As a result, one starts cyber stalking, and lets face it we all do it, and then you become suspicious of all the new people that your new ‘love interest’ is adding on Facebook and can make you feel somewhat used or exploited and merely a figure on their board game, something which can be chosen at will and used and played until it’s you that looses . It’s pretty much downhill from there. Normal people, and I use that term loosely, prefer face to face contact were there are no computer screens to hid behind, were they are forced to just be themselves, scary concept I know!. People have a tendency when they talk online to be a tad more cocky or overconfident and say things they wouldn’t normally say in regular conversation. There is a greater sense of people being genuine when you meet someone in the more conventional places, like work or through a friend. I ask you to consider one closing argument. If you are reading this article now, chances are you accepted a friend request from me on Facebook. You gladly accepted my request without knowing who I am, what I look like or where I’m from. Why would you give a complete stranger complete access to your life, to your friends, to your photographs, etc. By the way I’m happy you did accept !! But I think that when you give people that form of unprecedented access to your life they can quickly find out all about you before you’ve even had the chance to tell them. Of course there are relationships that have formed from online dating and soforth but they are very rare and far between. If you think you are going to develop a relationship with someone on Facebook, you are slightly deluded. You have no common interest with the person except your sexuality. People are not randomly added based on their ‘likes or interests’, people are added on the basis of the content of their profile picture. Oh yeah, there’s the makings of a solid relationship right there! Vane much? If after reading this article you still feel like this is the only way to meet men, we’ll best of luck with that; you’ve got a shot in hell! And the next time someone tells me that they’ve met their soulmate online, I will simply remain pessismistic and just say, in the words of Oprah: GOOD FOR YOU! Until next time, xoxo Gossip Gay